Americans are Funny People

One friend told me, "Ang talino ng mga Amerikano, noh?" I was kinda taken aback by the question (especially since she was drunk to the eyelashes and was reeking of alcohol). But that was more hilarious was when she said why --- "Ang galing kasi nila mag-English".

After that I called a cab and hauled her home. She was obviously delusional.

But there really are a lot of intelligent Americans and the US has a high literacy rate. But let me share some funny things about them, based on some questions I heard from them by working here.

* Your phone sucks! The screen's all black! (The phone wasn't on in the first place)

* What the hell is this picturemail you're charging me? I send pictures to my family via regular US mail!!! (ngwek-ngwek-ngwek)

* You notified me via text that you will send me this free wallpaper thing! I stripped my walls bare and the wallpaper hasn't arrived yet! It's been three weeks! (The wallpaper was a cellphone wallpaper, not the regular one)

* Can you tell me how long the dipstick is for my car? (duh, why don't you go measure it yourself?)

Those are only some, only some. They provide comic relief for the time when my eyelids are about to fall off. I love Americans. They're so funny! Just today on usatoday.com, I read news about a nursing home (for retarded or mentally disturbed people, not elders!) who employed a sex offender to molested one of the patients. Instead of kicking the person out, or making a law that prohibits them to go into that kind of job, they made a law that required the nursing home to declare to their clients whether they have employed offenders or not (after all, aren't sex offenders mentally disturbed,too? They fit right in!).

I love Americans.